“What can I do for my loved one in the hospital?” is a question on many people’s mind when someone they care about is suddenly admitted to the hospital. Basic needs such as comfort can be addressed: Do they have a pillow which supports their head, floats extremities which need elevating, etc. Do they have enough blankets, a fan for a stuffy room, are they being assisted in moving about in bed so that pressure sores do not develop? Other frequent needs include assistance to the toilet or use of the bedpan (or for more seriously ill persons- reorientation and reminders that they cannot get out of bed to toilet and must use the catheter they forgot they had). Are they getting help to brush their teeth twice daily? Were their hands and face washed twice today? Often you can tell they were not just by unfortunate odors. You can offer the use of alcohol-based hand sanitizer which is so popular today. Attention to toenails, fingernails, and brushing hair are often a comfort. Are their glasses, hearing aids and dentures available for use as needed? Do they need help blowing their nose or clearing out their ears? Are they staying hydrated and eating a variety of foods? Are bright and cheerful cards, family pictures, mementos within eyesight? If you bring in pictures, be sure you clearly label them with names and the event so staff can use them in therapy or during conversations to find common ground. Always communicate openly and in a collaborative way with nursing and hospital staff. Even if staff are in a hurry (or worse, inattentive to a detail you consider critical) you can convey your concerns in a collaborative way. Why not reinforce “we are both trying to help my mom get well” rather than using a judging tone or expressing your disapproval in a confrontational way. Confrontation and being direct is over-rated in life– and considering the amount of stress the patient, family and health care providers endure- it is definitely overrated in the hospital setting. Besides, the mood you foster with the hospital staff is what will stay with your loved one after you’ve left their bedside. Some of the most “effective” families are the ones who ask a LOT of questions but always in a collaborative manner that conveys they care about their loved one as well as the hospital staff they are addressing.
